Welcome friends, to this rather sombre story of a hero, a father figure and a legend who shall remain in our memories for years to come. The enigma called Sounak Sasmal might have escaped your attention for all these years but finally, I have taken the burden of sharing the story of the man who changed how the earth looked like (well, literally).
Born to Organic Chemistry and Satan, Sounak grew up in the backyard of Alexander Graham Bell with an astute love for the sciences. As a child he faced difficulties in being as kiddish and immature as the rest of the "kids". He was far too smart for the rest of the class, so he indulged in various other activities like making a submarine, helping Adolf Hitler with the German U boats in the second world war and also then conspiring against him and joining the opposition and helping the Americans come up with the Nuclear Bomb. His love for destruction was imminent, as he was the son of the bad ass himself, but his violent streak reached new heights when he was convicted for the murder of Janko Tipsarevic, allegedly because he found Janko's spectacles too thick and his name too difficult to pronounce.
 |
| Sounak on the verge of doing the "unmentionable" acts while solving Maths |
Apart from his off time wonder activities, he got bored of the easiness of his tasks pretty quickly too. In the years of his adolescence and early teenage life, it was in these moments of boredom and in the safety of his basement, that he turned to self pleasure activities and resorted to Mathematics and Calculus, like a whore, gave him the pleasure of survival. He would lie by his books and self authored manuscripts all night and do things unmentionable on a family website.
And as soon as he stepped into the hotch-potch of teenage life, he started developing feelings for a woman named Kolo Toure. Through the eyes of a lover, he would stare at Kolo walking to school from behind the meadows and the bushes. He would keep looking at her for she was all that meant to him. Very soon, he gave up working part time and started writing letters to Kolo in different languages. Although he never got any replies, he kept writing them.. one each day, with the silent expectation that someday she would understand his feelings (since he didn't know what language Kolo spoke).
 |
| Kolo Toure's picture that was framed in Sounak's bedroom |
He wrote and wrote and kept writing tirelessly. He even rejected NASA's offer to fly to the moon and let Neil Armstrong take his place (for which Neil Armstrong was greatly thankful, a fact he repeatedly insisted upon in his biography). After 6 months and 190 letters, he finally got a reply and with the reply, came a heartbreak.
After a 189 languages, Kolo finally replied to the letter he wrote in Mandarin Chinese. Kolo apologized for her lack of reciprocation and admitted that she always liked him. But she also confessed how her hands were tied (something which got him excited initially) and she could all but return his love for she was already in a relationship with Rohit Verma.
Sounak burnt in fury and couldn't stand this test of time. But his life's worst was yet to come. It was much later when DNA fingerprinting became possible in the later half of the 20th century that Sounak learnt the deepest, darkest secret of his life - his real parentage.
When he went for his regular check up, his doctor told him that Satan was not his real father. This came as a shock for he always took pride in being the son of the 'angel that fell'. All the years, Satan had tortured and abused him and he always took it as a symbol of love from his evil father. But now, all the hatred started making perfect sense. It got too much for him and sadly, on December 31st, 1982 he committed suicide by taking 5 IITJEE papers back to back - the worst form of suicide noted till date.
"Lekin picture abhi baaki hai mere dost" was not SRK's original dialogue.
Yes you guessed it, Sounak was never to die. Within a year's time, a child was rescued in the Terai by a group of Chipko Movement activists and it was indeed Sounak's reincarnation - a theme which helped SRK and Farah Khan earn millions two decades later.
 |
Sounak striking his famous pose (2000)
(You can find it at all leading Madame Tussauds stores) |
Burning with the pain of parental hatred and an unsuccessful love affair with the now dead Kolo, he quickly adapted himself to the trends of the twentieth century. In an attempt to look cool, he put on the Homer avatar - mindlessly eating away everything that came his way and acting nonchalant in every situation possible - Sounak was better than before. In the rage of Satan's misdemeanor, he started calling himself God and adopted the catchphrases "I'm god" and "I'm the one who decides" (although no one quite knew what he decided anyway).
In the fall of 1999, he moved to California and started working professionally as a cross dresser, posing in different ways in front of lustful bachelors from all over the world - an art in which he aced. He featured in the King'd'isher's calendar of 2010 where he came up with the best pose of all - the " I'm a pretty girl " pose - as it became famous. Over the years, it has achieved a cult status with models all over the world attempting it in all ways possible.
 |
| Sounak performing with Opeth - well pretending to at least. |
Soon, the members of the much famed band, Opeth called him to be their official head banger and he accepted the offer without any hesitation. But his relationship with Opeth didn't last very long because he grew to be the focus of attention during their live performances, to the extent that people started visiting only to see him.
Consequently, Opeth cancelled their contract with Sounak and after returning to India in 2007, he joined the school in the ninth standard at the age of 24. His many talents from his past life never ceased to exist and very soon, he was back to Calculus even before he grew a beard (at 25).
 |
| Sajal "The player" Chowdhury |
It was his love life, though, which was not to be the same. Having realized the worthlessness in loving a woman, he decided never to have feelings for a girl anymore. Very soon his dreams came true as a handsome boy named Sajal Chowdhury joined school. Sajal was very muscular, heavily toned and fancied keeping pictures of naked men in his facebook account - something which had attracted Sounak. In his own words, he explains - "I felt like the central point in a current loop where the Magnetic Field intensity (B) is equal to (Mu-zero x N x I / 2 x a) ... " and he started to figure out the actual force acting on him at this point and made himself unavailable for any more comments.
In the days ahead, their relationship grew and happy days came by. The know-it-all guy blossomed under the chaperon of his love, Sajal and grew to the reputation of the exploits of his previous life. He became the best scientist in the years to come and invented the Neurtino telescope to read messages from aliens and won a Nobel prize in for his book "The Definite Integrals of love".
History is often manipulated and so far, our authors have overlooked this great man. But, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and a Sounak in each one of us.
Pictures Courtesy - Soudip Dutta. (and if you're planning to sign him to shoot your next calendar, Dr.Mallya - you're going to have to give me permission to see the photo shoot too :P <eager eyes> )
